Depression and Vivaldi, the saviour

listening to: Concerto for Mandolin, Strings & Harpsichord, R. 425 - C Major.

I know nobody is reading this webblog. So why am I even bothering to write it? Wouldn't it be much easier if I just got a pen and a journal and started writting on it in my native language and in full privacy?

I really have no idea what makes me write here. But for some inexplicable reason it makes me feel real good to write here. Maybe even more than writting on a journal... in a fact, I don't think it's better. It's just a different kind of feeling.

Have you ever noticed how hard it actually is to express throw words what we think or feel? Sometimes even I can't express to my own self what am I feeling...

I have a suspicion that I am getting depressed. Not like a normal blues but clinically depressed. I am feeling tired, angry and sad most of the time and I barely eat or feel any kind of appetite... which REALLY freaks me out because if there's something I was have is appetite and when I am lacking some I start getting really worried.

I went to the doctor today. I told him what I was feeling and he said it could be a light form of depression and that I should seek a psychiatrist. I felt kind of funny to look for one but he said it's nothing to feel ashamed or scared of. People usually have a lot of prejudice into seeking especialized counseling, however, depression is a disease like any other and should be treated. So I am going to the psychiatrist. To be honest with you, I really would feel relified if he said I have depression. Because if he said I don't... maybe the symptoms are from something else and who knows what could that be... I even been worried about my health lately...

Thank God there's Vivaldi! Man, this Concerto for Mandolin in C Major rocks! It's making me feel a lot better! If you don't like classical music... you should try Vivaldi. I've been his unconditional fan since I was 6. The guy kicks ass, it's all I have to say. (although I don't really like this expression.. he does ;)